Updated: Dec 30, 2020
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Why is busting myths around overweight sex important? Because these myths haunt obese people as much as they do lean people! Whether you’re obese, overweight or lean, you need to listen to the truth behind these myths:
Myth 1: An Overweight Person Will “Break” Their Partner
The body has pain receptors. If you feel uncomfortable under another body or you get jabbed with an elbow, pain receptors say, “Hey, I don’t like that” and the person in discomfort will rectify the situation. A heavier person will not snap a sexual partner like a cracker.
Ask yourself: Do you have pain receptors? Can you tell when uncomfortable twinges strike your body, and do they nudge you to reposition and reconfigure? If so, then this myth is an elementary fallacy that should already be thrown into the nearest fat-shaming bin. Partners of all sizes need to feel each other out to figure out what positions will be most comfortable, and body size should be exonerated from the ouches that may come from having consensual sex as long as you’re an adult with the capacity to understand when something hurts.
Myth 2: Overweight People Only Have Sex With Other Overweight People.
Not true. In fact, that’s far from the truth. If you believe this, you have a bias that needs to go away pronto! Larger bodies constantly live on the margins of what we deem acceptable or valuable, and sometimes it’s easier to get naked in front of someone with the same mental scuffles, to lessen the insecurities leading up to sex. But it’s not always true. Sometimes, thin people are sexually attracted to heavier people, and vice versa. That’s why humans are amazing, we’re all so different!!
Myth 3: Overweight People Have Body Limitations.
Yes, of course fat people have body limitations — but so do thin people, and every single person on this earth. If your old high school football injury acts up and your knees hurt, you’d make adjustments and accommodations. If a 5-feet-4-inch person tried to have sex with a 6-feet-4-inch person, they too would face challenges.
This myth is deeply rooted in the overarching mobility assumptions of larger bodies: that they universally have knee and back problems, that they’re too tired to walk around, to run, to get up, that they’re unable to fit into any space. Obese sex doesn’t mean awkward angles and impossible positions. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Myth 4: Overweight People Are Too Lazy For Sex.
Do you know anyone who hasn’t felt lazy? People are allowed to be lazy. People are allowed to have a night off. People are allowed to not be into it. Large bodies shouldn’t be excluded from this, and definitely shouldn’t be subject to judgement if they want to take things easy. Laziness is a human trait, and it doesn’t see body size.
Myth 5: Overweight People Don’t Look Good Naked.
Attractiveness is subjective: Not everyone finds the same things beautiful. But society projects a myopic image of what should and what shouldn’t be considered sexually attractive.
To give you an example, though 67% of women in the U.S. are a size 14 or above, they’re only represented in 2% of the images we see. Open your eyes to larger bodies. Look to find acceptance in others but also acceptance for your own body. The more you look, the more you’ll find yourself less visually offended — and maybe even more turned on.
Myth 6: Overweight People Will Sleep With Anybody Out Of Desperation
While it is true that obesity is often accompanied by a sense of insecurity and body image issues, not all obese people will boost their self image by sleeping with others out of desperation.
Obese people are also human beings, and they have feelings as well. A large majority of them also have enough self respect to say NO to someone they don’t want to sleep with. It is never right to treat anyone like an object, and it is definitely wrong to believe that they are grateful for any and every sexual encounter that comes that way!